Finding Freedom
by Skeeter69
Summary: Liz must make some decisions regarding her marriage to Tom. She must deal with her past as she struggles to rebuild her life according to her own choices and not the desires of others. Letting go of the past to find freedom to face the future...
1. Arriving Home

Chapter 1 Arriving Home

AN: RL has been a bear lately. I have dabbled in this story as sleep seems to elude me these days or more likely nights. This chapter is set before S2E1. Enjoy the read…

The sheet of rain continued to assail everything in its path as the bruising wind battered any item that was not properly secured. Pieces of trash and other lightweight items swirled across the city streets while traffic slowed to a crawl, congesting the roadway as Liz's car sought shelter from the storm. Liz strained to find the glowing Motel 6 beacon while the windshield wipers struggled to clear the water that was pelting the glass.

"Yes… finally! There it is." Liz stated sarcastically, "Home sweet home."

She attempted to get as close to her room as she could before parking, however the parking lot was almost full. She finally parked in an empty space farther from her room, pulled the hood of her lightweight jacket over her head, let out a deep sigh and groaned when she opened the car door. The blowing raindrops stung her face as she gingerly stepped out of her car into the rain. Her feet sank into a quickly flowing stream of water that topped her shoes and deluged her feet. A gust of wind blew the hood off of her head as she tried to run for cover. After finally reaching the covered walkway, she heard the squishing sound of her shoes mocking her every step. Her hair now lay in wet strands around her face as rivulets of water ran down her cheeks. Liz began to dig in her bag for her room key card.

"Oh, thank goodness for small favors. This maybe the only one I get today."

It had been a particularly trying day at the office and the rain had just added another layer of frustration. She was looking forward to getting inside, having a steaming cup of tea and changing into some dry clothes.

Liz looked at the plain white card with the magnetic strip now clutched in her hand. She suddenly thought, `How plain, how uncluttered yet how important. This unadorned card is the key that will protect me from the rain and bruising wind that are battering me right now. How like real life. The key to happiness is so uncluttered yet most do not recognize it when it's placed before them.'

Just as Liz prepared to slide the card into the key slot, a particularly strong clap of thunder caused her to startle and release her hold on the key as a gust of wind blew the card over the railing and into the parking lot. She turned and watched as the card floated into the closest storm drain.

"Damn you, bastard!"

Through the door, Liz heard Hudson's high pitched welcoming yaps. In a fit of anger she began to beat on the door of her latest economically priced, one room, temporary dwelling. Her fists froze in mid-flight when the door began to open. There stood Raymond Reddington holding Hudson.

"How…?"

Liz quickly became aware that she was definitely not looking her best. Her eyes dropped to her wet clothes that were clinging to her body and she could only imagine what her plastered wet hair looked like.

Red smirked. "Hello sweetheart! I thought I recognized the sweet dulcet tones of your voice! Aren't you going to welcome me home? Hudson gave me a tail wagging exuberant welcome."

"Red! You bastard! Welcome you home? You scared the daylights out of me."

Red placed Hudson on the floor. Soon the dog was enthusiastically licking Liz in the face as she bent down to greet him.

"Hello Hudson. Yes, I'm so glad to see you too. I missed you more than you missed me. Oh baby, I'm so glad to be home with you. Now let me get dry and if you mind your manners I'll get you something to eat."

Red paused to watch the spectacle. Despite being wet from head to toe Lizzie was still very beautiful yet her face was conflicted. Her smile and tone of voice reflected the love she had for Hudson while her eyes still radiated a deep sadness that had set in following her realization that her marriage to Tom was a total ruse, a bed of lies.

Red slightly cocked his head to the side and grinned, then he bantered, "I suppose it was a bit of a shock, but you seemed to be having some difficulty getting into this bare-bones place. You seem to have a knack for choosing the most charming living spaces. Don't I even get a thank you for letting you in out of the rain?"

"Buzz off Red! If you don't like the place you're most welcome to leave. No one is keeping you here."

Red turned and walked further into the dimly lit, musty smelling room. He then walked over to the coffee maker that was sitting on the counter and poured a steaming cup of hot water into a mug that contained a tea bag.

Liz watched as Red made himself at home. She noticed that he had removed and hung up his lightweight trench coat on the small clothing rack. His ever present fedora had been placed on the dresser where a newspaper was folded to the latest crossword puzzle.

"Lizzie, I brought you some Chinese takeout from the mom and pop establishment down the street."

Liz began to shake with unrestrained laughter, "Oh crap, that's what I forgot! I left the Chinese takeout that I bought in my car."

It felt good to hear Liz laugh, a sound that had rarely appeared lately.

"Well, sweetheart, it seems that great minds think alike."

Here was Red welcoming her into her own home. How typical. He had thought of meeting her needs with her favorite food and a cup of tea. Did he realize what a caretaker he really was?

Liz plopped down onto the closest chair and began to remove her wet shoes. She then reached over to adjust the thermostat on the rattling air conditioning unit. Red noticed that Liz had begun to shiver so he quickly found her robe and handed it to her. He held onto the robe longer than he should have as he gazed directly into Lizzie's sad blue eyes. When her eyes engaged his a current of understanding was exchanged between the two. Coming home to an empty room was so disheartening.

"Lizzie, you need to get into some dry clothes before you eat your dinner. I will have your cup of tea ready when you're finished."

Liz didn't object. She draped the robe over her arm as she took a dry T-shirt and a pair of shorts from the middle drawer of the dresser and went into the bathroom to take a quick warm shower.

~X~X~

Liz asked Red to stay for dinner. He refused the food, but enjoyed a warm cup of tea while she ate the food he had bought for her. Red basked in the warmth of this female. For years he had missed the company of a sincere, compassionate, intelligent woman who operated without a calculating agenda.

They discussed the business trip Red had returned from just two days ago. He had been acquiring an arsenal of weapons he deemed necessary to combat the threat posed by the man he called Berlin. He and Liz had redoubled their efforts to find Berlin yet were still encountering many roadblocks. Without Harold Cooper at the helm, the team at the Post Office seemed to be most ineffective.

Liz knew that she was still grappling with her debacle of a marriage. She just couldn't accept that she, a trained FBI profiler, had been so duped by an imposter. She couldn't believe that she had not picked up on any clues that things were amiss. She now questioned her fitness to be a profiler, her effectiveness. She knew Red and many others depended on her skill and intuitive ability to help solve the toughest of crimes.

Her confidence had been shaken. Red had been there offering support in every way he could, but ultimately Liz knew that a positive change was up to her. She had to be the one to do the work required to make the change. She had to let go. Let go of her past. Let go of Tom.

After Liz finished her dinner she couldn't stifle the yawns that kept appearing. Red quickly noticed and decided it was time for him to leave.

"Sweetheart, at the risk of boring you any further with my company this evening I will now say goodnight. Dembe is waiting and I have more plans to make."

Liz did not protest. She knew she needed the sleep. Sleep had been eluding her lately.

"Red, thank you for being so thoughtful tonight. We must do this again."

"You're very welcome, sweetheart."

The door opened and Red stepped into the night leaving a silent gaping void in his wake.

**AN: All comments are welcome. They keep the midnight oil burning.**


	2. The Trinket

The Trinket

This was the third concrete box Liz had inhabited in the last seventeen days. The smell of eye-burning cleaning solutions and bare, bland walls were pushing her to her limits. Claustrophobia was beginning to set in. Taking Hudson for walks in the park was losing its attraction. A permanent change needed to occur and soon. She pranced anxiously over to the bed where she had unpacked her clothes consisting mainly of her drab work wardrobe. Liz sat down heavily on the edge of the bed and made a decision.

She had not seen or heard from Red in as many days. Usually Red would have initiated some type of contact before now, but she had heard nothing from him since the night he departed her motel room leaving a cold, gaping void with his absence. Liz decided it was time to find him. She was sure he had been embroiled in his passionate pursuit of Berlin and had ignored his promise to keep her informed once again.

Red answered the call with a relaxed, languid tone. "Lizzie, I've been expecting your call. What took you so long?"

"Good grief, Red. And to think I was expecting you to keep me informed of your latest shenanigans and whereabouts."

Red could tell she was exasperated with him. "How am I supposed to keep you informed when you just keep falling off of the grid? You never stay in one place long enough for me to find you."

"Oh hell, Red. Don't give me that! Who do you think I learned it from; the master of deception, of course. As for me being off of the grid…I'm sure you have someone tracking my every move even though I've asked you not to do that. You know exactly where I am; knowing you, you probably anticipate my every move even before I do."

"Lizzie, you need a break from mediocrity. I'm just about to enjoy my dinner. Dembe and I have prepared a feast of quail this evening. We have more than enough to share. I'm sending my car for you right now."

"Red, I…" Liz began to decline the invitation, but now realized that she had reached out to Red as a means of seeking comfort and company. Spending time alone was wearing very thin.

"O K. I'll be waiting." Liz knew that the call had been ended even before she could give him an answer. Some things would never change, nor would she want them to. Red would never take no for an answer once he made up his mind. She had to admit that she had always been lured in by his decisiveness; a trait she had decided she needed more of.

Liz quickly made up her mind to change her clothes. She decided to change from her slouchy jeans and t-shirt to a casual dress. She smirked at the idea of showing off her shapely legs. She selected the dress from the two she had kept when she left the brownstone she and Tom had shared. Liz needed to be very honest here. She liked the idea of gaining Red's attention and approval even if it was in a flirty, physical manner. She missed the attention of the male gender and Red was beginning to weigh heavily on her mind these days.

While searching in the small ivory box for the earrings she wanted to wear, her eyes were drawn to the colorful child's bracelet the young girl, Beth, had given her when she was working her very first case with Red. As Liz gently fingered the plastic bracelet, she recalled Harold Cooper giving it to her as a reminder of the good she had accomplished during her time with the task force. Suddenly she knew she had to wear it. It had become a symbol of success and a reminder of her commitment to Red and their search for answers. Surprisingly she and Red had indeed formed a compatible working relationship. Tonight she needed that small, not insignificant reminder.

Just as Liz finished brushing her long chestnut hair and securing it over her shoulder she heard a knock on the door of her room. She looked through the peep hole and spotted Dembe waiting there. While opening the door and greeting Dembe, Liz finished applying her favorite lipstick and then dotted on some of the Chanel perfume Red had given her last Christmas.

She took one last approving look at herself in the mirror, stepped into her red heels, picked up her small clutch, flashed a huge smile at Dembe and walked confidently beside him to the waiting car. She was ready, ready to leave the stifling concrete walls, ready to move forward. Her next stop was dinner with Red.

A large smile appeared on Lizzie's face as Dembe studied her in the rear view mirror. He grinned to himself and thought, "She's a woman on a mission! Oh Raymond, my friend,…"

~XX~

As Dembe escorted her through the front door of the Tudor style house Red was currently residing in, Liz stopped to reign in her excitement and nerves. She wanted to appear with confidence, a woman worthy of Red's attention.

"Hello Red," Liz called from the doorway.

"Lizzie, so glad you could make it. The tantalizing smell of the roasting quail is making my mouth water."

Red turned from the stove to face Liz as she entered the kitchen. He stopped in his movement when his eyes locked on the confident woman that stood before him. Liz was stunning in the classic dress she had chosen to wear. Her eyes were bright and alive; the large expectant smile that greeted him was radiant. This was a different woman! Red was intrigued. He exhaled the breath of air he had been holding and swallowed hard.

What was that flash of color he saw on her arm just as she placed her arm behind her back? He was sure it looked familiar. Red continued to peruse Liz from top to bottom as she strolled over to the counter and laid her clutch down. She then pivoted to face him. That was when he got a good look at the plastic bracelet. Yes, he remembered the very day that bracelet had appeared; a visible reminder of the first case he had worked with this woman. They had certainly come a long way and Liz was now standing before him with a glow of confidence emanating from her very being.

"Red, it smells wonderful in here. When are we eating?"

Red slowly approached Liz as he held out a glass of wine to her, all the while locking his gaze on her eyes. He noticed that she didn't flinch nor break the contact. She took the wine and sought out a place to sit at the counter.

"Lizzie, we will eat as soon as the salad has been put together. You can help. Here, slice some cucumbers, carrots and green peppers."

Red handed her a basket of fresh vegetables. She walked over to the small preparation sink and began to wash each vegetable. She was intent on her task, but soon realized that Red had walked up behind her. She felt her muscles tighten as she acknowledged his close proximity and anticipated his touch. She was disappointed when he didn't touch her, but draped a kitchen towel over her shoulder instead.

"I thought you might need this before your work is done."

Liz replied in a quiet, almost whisper-like voice, "Thank you."

Why was she so disappointed? She could feel a flush creeping up her neck and face. She kept her attention focused on the vegetables in the sink; all the while hoping Red had not noticed her reaction.

After Liz finished washing the vegetables she returned to the counter where Red had placed a cutting board.

"Red, I need a knife to slice the vegetables. Where can I find one?"

Red walked over to a drawer and pulled out a knife for her to use. He then walked over to her and carefully set it on the counter. She looked up at him with beseeching eyes that seemed to ask, "When are you going to touch me?"

The tension in the room was suddenly palpable. Both recognized the feeling, yet neither wanted to be the first to physically or verbally acknowledge it. The moment was lost when Dembe entered the kitchen and asked if he could help.

Liz spoke first, "Please get a knife and help me cut up these vegetables for the salad while Red finishes preparing the rest of the meal."

Dembe noticed a slight quiver in Liz's voice as she spoke and immediately realized he had interrupted a private moment.

"Raymond, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I know you've been anxious to eat the quail. I will help Ms Keen."

~XX~

Dembe filled his plate with food and began leaving the room as Liz said, "Dembe, you don't have to leave. You're welcome to eat with us."

"Thanks, Ms Keen, but I don't want to miss my favorite TV show which is starting about now." He then grinned and left the room.

Liz took a bite of the roasted quail. "Mmmm…this is really good. Where did you get these quail?"

"They were given to me by one of my acquaintances who recently returned from a hunting trip. I'm so glad you like it. This is the way my grandmother used to prepare quail. The bird is basted with a mixture made from melted butter, honey and soy sauce with a little white wine thrown in for good measure."

As Liz continued to savor the dinner, Red again noticed the colorful plastic bracelet on her wrist. "Lizzie, that's an eye-catching piece of jewelry you're wearing on your arm. It looks familiar to me. Isn't it the trinket the young girl gave you when we were working on our first case together?"

Liz stopped and looked at the bracelet, "Yes."

"Why did you choose to wear it tonight?" Red was sure he knew the answer, but he wanted to hear her tell the story.

Liz let out an audible sigh as her muscles tensed up. Of course he would ask about the trinket, she knew he would. She knew she had worn the bracelet as a conversation starter. She wanted this conversation with Red; she needed this conversation with him. She needed a sounding board; she was seeking assurance that she was on the right track, on track to healing her life. She was looking toward a brighter future.

She took a deep breath and stepped right into the crux of the matter. "It's hard for me to explain, but I'll try. It reminds me of a time when I felt that I had been successful at my job. I had done something worthwhile. Life was still bright and hopeful. My life had not yet gone to hell, nor been totally consumed by anger." Liz paused…then, she made the choice to be decisive, truthful. "And it reminds me of you. Our first case together, I was green, inexperienced. You were patient with me, taught me to think like a criminal, think outside of the box. I needed that reminder today."

Red listened intently as Liz continued to explain why she was wearing the bracelet. He tilted his head slightly to the side and got lost in her earnest eyes and her steady, lilting voice. He nodded his head in agreement of every word she spoke.

He had guessed correctly…Lizzie wore that plastic bracelet as a symbol of a less painful and peaceful time in her life. Like a toddler carries a comforting security blanket to soothe himself; Lizzie wore the plastic bracelet to soothe the confusion and pain she had encountered in life.

Red was pulled into the dross. He wanted to lighten her load, but only Lizzie could do that for herself. Red was drawn to her as she continued to talk. He raised his hand and then pulled it back on second thought.

When he raised his eyes and looked directly into the depths of her blue eyes, he was lost. He slowly reached across the table and placed his soothing hand over the hand that had been lying in wait for his touch.

Liz could hardly breathe. She had longed for his touch, the touch that told her she was not alone; the touch that brought comfort, security and hope back to her life. The cool plastic bracelet had been replaced by his warm caring hand.

**AN: Please leave a comment before you move on with your day. All comments are appreciated.**


	3. His Offer, Her Glance

His Offer, Her Glance

His hand sought hers across the table much like a homing pigeon returns to roost in the safety and security of its home coop. When he placed his hand over hers, undeniable warmth began to flow through his body; he had arrived home. This woman had become his home. He would never again have the long term comfort or security of a traditional home with wood or brick walls, but he would always return to her, if not physically then in the depths of his memory. No matter how many miles separated them he would always seek her spirit and return to the energy she brought to him.

He was captivated by her eyes, the deep blue orbs that sucked him in like a whirlpool and mired him in the tumult of her pain and sadness. The further he fell, the more aware he became of her need; the need to release the anger and confusion that had begun to fester within; the need of relief from the pain that he had brought to her awareness the day he had reentered and disrupted her life. If she had been a weaker woman she would already have abdicated her battered will to the strength of the pain.

She felt the warmth of his hand covering hers like a protective bandage; a bandage applied to stop the hemorrhaging, the hemorrhaging of the woman, Elizabeth Keen. His eyes looked steadily into her unwavering gaze as they sat unmoving across the table from each other. Her heart began to race; then she could feel the warm flush begin to rise upward through her arm, neck and face. Like a rescuer would tighten a tourniquet, he increased the pressure of his hand on hers as she sat unblinking, staring into the depths of his eyes where she became aware of his concern. She unconsciously began to lean toward him as if her body sought the solace and security only he could provide, but when she came in contact with the edge of the table that separated them she was startled from her reverie. Her fingers tensed as she slowly removed her hand from underneath his.

Red spoke first, "Lizzie, let's finish dinner and then we can enjoy a pleasant conversation in a more comfortable location."

Liz made no reply. She drank until she emptied her wine glass; then began absentmindedly pushing the remainder of her dinner around her plate with her fork. Red decided to remain quiet until she made the effort to restart the conversation.

Soon Liz rose and began to clear her dishes from the table; then Red assisted with the cleanup as they loaded the dishwasher and worked side by side to hand wash the larger pots and pans. Despite the lack of verbal communication they each understood the other perfectly. They settled into a comfort zone as they engaged in the dance that occurs when two people try to avoid eye contact with each other: the unintentional fleeting touch of the hands as they passed the dishes to each other, the lingering body contact that occurred when Liz tried to squeeze past Red as he stood between the kitchen sink and the breakfast bar, the giggle that escaped her mouth when she and Red bumped heads as they bent over to place items in the dishwasher. These were the unspoken interactions of two people who were bound by a comfortable familiarity,

When the task was accomplished Liz had yet to say a word and Red was getting impatient. "Lizzie let's go into the library and enjoy the rest of our evening together. I have something I need to discuss with you."

Liz shifted her weight from one foot to the other and replied in an annoyed tone, "Let it go, Red. I don't want to discuss any business tonight. I need a break from the rat race for a few hours. If I'd wanted to continue working in that stifling maze with an unsupportive supervisor I would have just stayed at the office."

"Sweetheart, I have no intention of discussing business related to the Post Office or Berlin." With that being said Red poured a glass of wine for Liz, handed it to her; then poured his tumbler half full of scotch.

When they entered the small yet amply stocked library Liz paused to place her wine glass on the mahogany desktop; then she took a deep breath. The sight and smell of well worn, used books caught her attention. She did not waiver, but walked right over to the bookshelves to peruse the titles of the books while Red took a seat on the overstuffed sofa.

Red settled into the comfort of the sofa, leaned back, crossed his legs and draped his hand holding the tumbler of scotch over the armrest. He canted his head to the side and watched Liz as she scanned the shelves. The corners of his mouth turned up when he noticed the pleasure she enjoyed while browsing through the books.

"Hey, there are some excellent books here. The owner knew what he was doing when he selected and shelved these books. I'd be interested in reading some of them."

"Perfect, Lizzie. Why don't you select a couple and take them with you? I'm sure they will not be missed before they're returned."

Liz sighed as she walked over and sat down on the other end of the sofa opposite Red. She began to play with the colorful plastic bracelet she still wore on her wrist.

"With Agent Malik no longer on the task force, I'm so busy these days that I really don't have time to read. When I do read I just fall asleep and then have to reread each paragraph two or three times. That's not what I call reading, at least not enjoyable reading."

"Lizzie, that brings me to the very thing I wanted to discuss with you. I know you have a few days of leave coming your way. Why don't you throw some clothes in a bag along with a couple of these books? Take an iPod and leave Hudson with me. I have the perfect unoccupied beach house just waiting for company. You deserve the time to relax and unwind, to rid your mind of clutter and to focus on your future. It's time for you to get rid of the decay that is festering within you."

Her gut reaction was to raise her voice, "How dare you. This is my life! You have no business…"

Liz chafed and recoiled at the suggestion that she might not be handling her turmoil well. Her first instinct was to let anger take control yet to her credit she allowed her mind to wander to another place and time when she, as a teen, had spent a memorable vacation at the beach with Sam. The memories bubbled up to the surface as she recalled the beauty and power of the ocean, the deep connection she had forged with her father and the freedom she felt as she explored herself and the woman she was becoming.

Red sat twirling the amber liquid in the tumbler he'd been holding and waited for Lizzie's reaction to his suggestion. He immediately noticed that she left her sentence unfinished so he decided to continue, "I can have my pilot on standby and ready for wheels up as soon as tomorrow morning. That's plenty of time for you to pack your bags, notify the agency and drop off Hudson here with me."

Liz sipped her wine as she considered the offer. She knew that she needed a break. The confusion and depressing atmosphere at work was beginning to get to her. Everyone was still mourning the loss of Mira and struggling with adjusting to the interim director, the oaf, Agent Martin. Most of all she knew she needed more time to come to grips with the chaos of her personal life. Red was correct; she needed to heal herself. She needed a few days off.

Red knew he had won the day when Liz began to pepper him with questions. "Will you be coming with me?"

"No. I have to make a trip and will be gone for a few days. Hudson can stay with the housekeeper."

"Does this beach house have everything I'll need? What will I need to take with me?"

"Lizzie, everything you need will be there. I'll call and make sure you have a rental car, some food and a clean house. All you need to do is make sure you have packed a swim suit or two, a few casual clothes and some good books."

Red smirked as he added, "Who knows you might find a beachcomber or the stowaways from the Minnow. Oh, I forgot. You're too young to remember Gilligan's Island, the Captain and Mary Ann."

His brow furrowed as he focused his thoughts on the old t v show. "Did I ever tell you about the time I got stranded…?"

Liz abruptly cut him off when she finally remembered to ask which beach she would be visiting. Red smiled and said, "The house is located right on the water in a quiet little spot between Seaside and Grayton Beach in the Florida panhandle. At last report the water is clear of seaweed and the sparkling white sand is in pristine condition. You'll have plenty of peace and quiet to rest and relax. This time of year the beaches in that area are not crowded at all."

Liz stretched the purple band of Beth's bracelet then released the band so that it stung her wrist, "O K, you've talked me into a few days of stress relief. I will take you up on your offer, but remember you said you wouldn't be there. I need this time to myself. Tell your pilot to be ready about mid-morning."

While she searched the shelves for a few good reads to take with her, Red picked up his phone and immediately made the calls to his pilot and to the caretaker of the beach property before Liz had a chance to change her mind. When he was finished with the calls it occurred to him that talking Liz into a few days away had been easier than it should have been.

Red's radar kicked in as he watched her lovingly, almost seductively, finger the books. She removed each one gently from the shelf and previewed a few of the pages. When she was sure that she wanted to read a book, she carefully laid it aside and moved on to the next one. Soon Liz had selected five of the books.

She glanced over at him and smirked as he sat thinking, oh what pleasure it would be to be handled in such a fashion. It's such a shame that a woman like Lizzie has been so lacking in male attention.

With another carefully placed glance she said, "Well, I shall have some good company with me while I'm on that secluded beach."

Red felt a twinge of…no, it couldn't be. Not him. He was never touched by the green eyed monster. That was such a base emotion, unworthy of occupying time or space in his mind.

When Liz glanced his way once again, she saw the nervous twitch of his eye and knew that he was flustered.

Liz goaded him, "A penny for your thoughts."

Red avoided eye contact as he replied, "They're not worth a penny."

Soon he heard these words tumble out of his mouth, "Well, sweetheart, if you're ready I can call Dembe to bring the car around or I can offer you a guest room to spend the night. Since you've decided to enjoy the sun and relaxation offered by the Florida coast you'll have plenty of time to pack your bags tomorrow morning."

Red expected her to refuse the guest room, but was once again surprised by her unpredictability when she agreed to stay. "I'll take you up on the offer of the guest room because the concrete walls of the cubicles I've been staying in lately are making me crazy. My claustrophobia is about to spin out of control."

"Well then, may I offer you a night cap?"

"No, but you can offer me clean sheets and a clean t-shirt to sleep in."

"Sweetheart, that's an easy request to fill. If you're ready I'll escort you to your room and find a night shirt for you."

Liz picked up the books she had removed from the library shelves just as Red placed his hand on her lower back and guided her up the stairs to the guest room. When he opened the bedroom door she was beset with the light pleasing scent of jasmine. He allowed her to enter the room first before he followed her in. She immediately stopped to admire the beauty of the room. The space was dominated by a king size bed swathed in luxurious ivory sheets topped with a beautiful hunter green duvet. Directly across from the bed sat a triple dresser and mirror which perfectly reflected the painting that hung above the headboard of the bed.

Liz recognized the painting by the artist, Pino Daeni. The oversize impressionist style painting depicted a scantily clad sensuous woman surrounded by bright engaging colors. The woman was obviously waiting for her lover. As Lizzie's eyes stared at the painting and her mind slowly turned to lustful thoughts, her face began to turn bright pink as warmth and need invaded her body. She remembered that Red was in the room and had been watching her. Naturally he had seen her gazing at the painting and noticed the blush on her face.

"What are you looking at?" she growled.

"My dear, it's quite an engaging painting, isn't it? We should all have such talents." His reference to the scantily clad bosom depicted in the painting was not lost on Liz.

"Too bad there's no room in this bed for a scoundrel tonight. This woman has had her fill of such men."

"Oh Lizzie, beware of the wolf at the door. He can be rather stealth. And on that note please follow me across the hall so that I may provide you with the best night clothes a girl could want."

"Perhaps I should forget the night clothes and simply lose myself in the cool silken sheets. This bed is really large enough for a girl to get lost in comfort."

"Whew." Red didn't have a quick reply to that unexpected comment so he simply walked across the hallway and into his bedroom where he soon found one of his t-shirts. He returned to the guest room and laid the shirt on the bed where Liz had already perched herself.

"Lizzie, I hope you get some sleep tonight amidst those obvious sensual thoughts you're having. You're going to need to be awake to pack for your get away."

"No doubt I will once I snuggle into these sheets. The ones I've been sleeping on lately are so stiff and scratchy I wake up with chaffed skin and very annoyed."

"Ah ha, so that's the reason you growl. You really are becoming a bear. You could've fooled me. And I thought only Papa Bears growled"

When she glared at him, but didn't rise to the bait, he took a chance and reached over to put his hand on her shoulder. She glanced at him, returned a slight smile and replied, "Sleep well, Big Bear. This big girl has to get her beauty rest."

~X~X~

After Red had returned to the library for a nightcap and a cigar, Lizzie had quickly changed into his t-shirt and fallen asleep. As he sat there sipping the numbing amber liquid he thought of Lizzie and the journey she needed to make. He knew he had to let her go, let her go to find herself. He only hoped she would return to him stronger than ever.

Red rose from the sofa and turned out the lights in the library then walked upstairs. As he passed the room where Liz slept he couldn't resist stopping to check on her. He quietly opened the door and walked into her room. He stopped to watch her as she slept. She was so beautiful to him. She had grown from a cute little girl into a strong, gorgeous woman. She was lying on her side with one leg and the lower half of her torso covered by the sheet. Her other leg and the upper part of her chest and back were exposed. He watched as she slowly and rhythmically took each breath, then began to mumble in her sleep. As he stood there looking at her she became very restless. He knew she was dreaming and from the looks of it, she was not having pleasant dreams. He reached down and stroked her arm until he noticed that she was again resting more peacefully. Soon he walked to the door, looked back at the sleeping woman, then proceeded to his room where he fell into a fitful light slumber.

~X~X~

_The flames engulfed and consumed everything in their path. She screamed, but no one came. She hid in her room. The heat was melting the doll's face, no it wasn't a doll, it was a man… two men. She screamed louder, but still no one came. The flames licked at the walls of her room, they were chasing her… the bunny in her hand was telling her to run as it began to turn black… there was nowhere to run or hide…the man with the tousled hair and glasses was pointing a gun…at her. The other man had no face. Thick smoke began choking her…_

_~X~X~_

Liz was jolted awake by the terrifying scenes that had invaded the pathways of her mind. When awareness regained control, she swiped her hand across her forehead and felt the beads of perspiration that had appeared there. Her hand began shaking so violently she couldn't turn on the lamp that sat next to the bed. Her heart was racing. She felt nauseated and her breathing was labored. She struggled to catch her breath and tried to yell for help, but no sound appeared. She felt as if a vice grip was squeezing her chest.

Liz tried to remember where she was, but all she could focus on was the terror she felt. When she realized that she was sitting alone in the middle of a huge bed with tears running down her face and shaking in an unfamiliar room she decided to get up and look for help.

She walked on jelly-like legs to the door that was standing partially open and gazed into the hallway. It reminded her of the hallway where she had first seen the fire. She felt the terror all over again, then she remembered. Red was across the hall, there was a light on in the room.

Liz silently walked across the hall and paused at his doorway. The door had been left partially open so she peered inside. Red was lying on his side with his back to the door. She waited to see if he was asleep, but she couldn't be sure, it was too dark.

A new wave of terrifying thought hit her. She didn't hesitate any longer; she approached his bed as if on cat's paws.

Suddenly out of nowhere Red spoke, "Lizzie, what's wrong?"

When he turned over to look at her, even in the dim light he could see that she was as white as the t-shirt he had given her, her eyes were wide and her legs were wobbling.

Red patted the mattress next to him, "Lizzie, sit down here."

She didn't hesitate because she was about to fall to the floor if she didn't sit soon. Red moved one of the pillows he had been resting on so that she could lay her head on it. Liz sat on the edge of the bed and slid under the light blanket that Red was holding up for her.

When she had settled under the blanket her senses came alive. She was now lying next to the man who had disrupted and destroyed her carefully planned, normal life. He had turned to lie on his back making it impossible to avoid him. His body heat radiated to her and the spicy smell of his aftershave was clinging to the pillow where her head now rested. He had even dared to place his arm under her neck and around her shoulder as a gesture of comfort.

"I can't talk about it."

Red let her rest as he felt her clammy body quiver anew. She turned onto her side and buried her face at the base of his neck.

"What the hell am I doing here?"

It felt so good not to be alone, to come home.

**AN:** Understatement…Liz has issues. All comments welcome.


End file.
